Laughter  

 Laughter is an instant vacation - ...Milton Berle 

This is the beautiful, and loving Judith Skutch-Whitson.  What a smile, eh?  When I met her it was a day of joyful laughter so I so I included her picture here to remind us all to laugh.  As The Course says, It's all a tiny made idea and we forgot to laugh.

********

A blind man and his seeing eye dog walk into a store. When
he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around. Upset by
this, the manager of the store demands to know what he is
doing.

The blind man calmly replies, "I'm just lookin' around."

********

We telemarketers know we're universally loathed. Still, some
people are quite pleasant on the phone.

One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr.
Morgan. The woman who answered explained that he no longer
lived at that address, but she did have a number where he
could be reached.

I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with, "Good
morning, Highland View Cemetery."

********

After a meticulous x-ray examination of my carry-on bag, I
removed all metal objects from my uniform and was finally
able to pass through the detector without setting off the
alarm.

"Just out of curiosity," I asked the airman operating the
checkpoint, "why did you make me go through all that?"

"We want to be sure you aren't carrying any weapons on
board," he said, handing me back my M-16 rifle.\

********

While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington,
the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking
to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his
microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy
sounded just like Elmer Fudd."

The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened,
realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After
about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by
announcing:

"Be vewy, vewy quiet. We aw hunting submaweens."

********

I was meeting a friend in a bar and as I went in, I noticed
two pretty girls looking at me.

"Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy
and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

"I don't want to ruin it for you," he said, "but when I
walked in, they were speaking German."

********

At the height of a political corruption trial, the
prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he
bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to
compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear
the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to
compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer
the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking
to you."

********

Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, And every year Ken would say, 'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter' and Edna always replied, 'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks'


One year Ken and Edna went to the fair, and Ken said, 'Edna, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance. To this, Edna replied, "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'


The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.' Ken and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word...


When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!' Ken replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, But you know,

"Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

********

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has
two large bags over his shoulders. A guard stops him and
says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.  The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the
bike."  The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties
them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan
overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that
there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard
releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, lifts them onto
the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What
have you got?"  "Sand," says Juan.  The guard does his thorough
examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back toJuan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events repeats every day for three years.
Then one day, Juan doesn't show up. The guard meets up with
him in a cantina in Mexico.  "Hey, buddy," the guard says, "I know
you're smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about. I
can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you
smuggling?"

"Bicycles," Juan says.

There you go, a great assortment of laughs.  Hope it made you chuckle a bit.